iChoons

There is a new kid on the block - Spiral Frog. Check out their press release:

Wow, I'm already feeling pumped!

SpiralFrog will offer those consumers (ed: the young ones) a better experience and environment than they can get from any pirate site.

But Pirates rock! With their three corner hats, wooden legs, parrots and antiquated mode of speech.

some key factors - legal digital files with no viruses or spyware in a controlled client-server architecture

Excellent, client-server architecture - that is SO innovative and will make my music sound MUCH better!

quick downloading

Dude, you just need to configure BitTorrent properly...

...and quality songs and music videos by great artists as among the primary benefits users will gain.

hmm.

So far it sounds great - client-server architecture, fast downloads, no viruses, great music. Sweet. There MUST be a catch somewhere

Digital rights management technology is built-in to all audio and video content as part of measures the company and its partners are actively taking to address piracy.

Uh, oh.

We want to provide the best environment for everyone - OUR PARTNERS and the _{recording artists}, as well as consumers (ed: emphasis mine)

Piracy continues to be one of the biggest issues facing the music industry where illegal file sharing and unauthorized CD burning are the prime means of music piracy. Digital rights protection will help us combat piracy and provide peace of mind for the record labels _{and the artists.}

Sorry, the biggest threat to the music industry nowadays is themselves. Here's a hint - treating customers like crminals is not a good idea!

Offering legally-authorized audio and video downloads in an advertising-supported environment works, as our business model is based on sharing our income streams from that advertising with our content partners like Universal.

Oh god, I feel it coming....

the company's research revealed that consumers are more than willing to 'pay' for their content by watching non-intrusive, contextually-relevant, targeted advertising in an online entertainment environment where advertising is already part of the overall experience.

And there it is. You have to watch a little infomercial every time you want to download a tune

We believe SpiralFrog will deliver an audience we highly desire and need to reach

But killing seals for fur is bad! Oh, wait...

Our audience is heavily into music and can be more easily reached on the web. We see SpiralFrog as an ideal place for us to communicate and build lasting relationships with our core audience and which give us unique new revenue opportunities.

Lasting relationships come from mutual respect.

And the marketing company chimes in...

The challenge is to find ways to integrate messaging and content to engage and add value to consumers' lives rather than just add to the message clutter out there. Companies like SpiralFrog offer a more direct engagement opportunity and have the potential to be of value to consumers and, as a result, our clients

Oh, hang on they arent a marketing company they are a 'communications services group'

Mediaedge:cia is a unit of GroupM, the media investment management arm of WPP Group, one of the world's largest communications services groups.

And finally...

SpiralFrog's target audience - people between the ages of 13 and 34 - is an advertiser's dream

...

This is the core audience we will attract by building a music-centric experience and destination that is second to none, legally delivering what the majority of users want - content they pay for only with their time.

Time is money dude, for real.

It's content that advertisers are willing to pay for on their behalf.

Wait, didn't they just say that we paid for it with our time?

SpiralFrog will launch in beta later this year.

And hopefully sink like a stone to the murky depths, never to be seen again.

But then again it is a frog we are talking about and there is a lot of nuclear waste about - Dagon?